So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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