You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
