Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize