fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
