Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
