i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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