Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
