By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
