just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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