yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
