She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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