At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
