it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We don't watch enough power rangers
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize