high people should be assigned attendants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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