dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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