White coat. Heels.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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