This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
