your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
