I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
