i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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