lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this just has baby written all over it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
