Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
