her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
