i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
