Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
