i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
