youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
