it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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