Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
