so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
