is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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