Sorry, I don't speak sober.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
