oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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