We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
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I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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