I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
