we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
