He kissed a someone with a penis
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
