I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
