he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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