I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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