We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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