The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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