U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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