nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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