HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to calm my uterus...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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