Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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