Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
one two three fourrrrnication!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize