Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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