You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
