Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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