then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
