Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize