So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
