I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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