These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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