You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
