someone threw a dead crab at me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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