I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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